RE: The Partygoer (Short Story)
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I was thoroughly engrossed in the world you created. Your use of descriptive language really transported me to this dystopian, post-apocalyptic city, and I found myself getting caught up in the chaos and excitement of the party scene.
I was particularly struck by the way you conveyed Sloni's disorientation and sense of being overwhelmed by the crowd, and then the sudden shift to feeling alone and vulnerable in the face of the peacekeepers. The way you portrayed the loss of civil liberties and individual freedoms in this society was also very effective.
Your story was well-written and engaging. Keep up the good work!
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Thank you so much for the amazing comment! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I found Sloni to be a fun character to write for and trying capture his feelings in that situation, while intoxicated was a challenge, but I think the scene breaks helped to feel like we were skipping time. Also, Elin was a fun companion for him to have, clearly a bit more level headed, but not by far.
I still want to do a wee bit of editing here and there just to really tighten it up, because I have an itchy feeling about this one that it isn't quiet finished, but that's natural.
Thank's again for the encouragement!
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It's always fun to write characters with distinct personalities and quirks, and it sounds like Sloni and Elin are quite a dynamic duo. It's great that you were able to convey Sloni's intoxicated state effectively through the use of scene breaks, as it can be difficult to capture that type of feeling in writing. It's important to have characters who balance each other out and provide an interesting contrast, so Elin's level-headedness is likely a great counterbalance to Sloni's wilder side.
It's great to hear that you enjoyed writing this story and that you're pleased with the positive feedback you received. It's common for writers to feel like their work is unfinished or could use some polishing, so don't worry about that feeling. It's always good to go back and edit your work to make it even better. Keep up the good work and keep writing!