Rebellion the forgotten tales

SPS Rains From the Sky
The skies opened.
Instead of rain, SPS tokens poured from the heavens, glittering radioactive green and sticking to everything — monsters, trees, unwilling llamas, and highly confused goblins.
Every time two monsters "collided," a giant neon sign blinked into existence:

"YOU HAVE STAKED YOUR OPPONENT! +420 SPS BONUS!"

The monsters, seeing the sweet, sweet APR possibilities, went absolutely feral.

Battle Royale of Bad Decisions
Grum Flameblade, still high on testosterone and burnt bacon fumes, tackled Quora Towershead straight into a Waka Spiritblade-sponsored staking pit, where they both instantly leveled up 3 times through "bonded liquidity" (no one knew what that meant, but it sounded profitable).

Legionnaire Alvar and Cursed Windeku decided to start a "Mutual Staking Cooperative."
Within minutes, they were wrapped around each other in a never-ending deathhug of profit-sharing and flesh-slapping.

River Hellondale tried to keep it classy — he opened a "Romantic Co-Staking Lounge" by the river.
It lasted three minutes before Kelya Frendul cannonballed into it, creating a tsunami of partners and "wet stakings" that would become legend.

Tarsa launched a "Flaming Liquidity Bootcamp," where monsters had to slam into each other so violently that fireworks exploded and everyone had to immediately declare each other as DeFi partners.
She was later sued by three Yodin Zaku lookalikes and a baby llama claiming to be "emotionally staked for life."

Things Get... Weird
At one point, Grum and Arkana Skinwalker got into an epic dispute over who could stake more monsters at once.
Arkana, not to be outdone, shapeshifted into literally every monster in the game — all versions of themselves grinding, bumping, flexing, and staking each other like an unsupervised middle school dance fueled by radioactive Mountain Dew.

Somewhere, Byzantine Kitty looked down from the heavens, sighed, and doubled everyone's APR out of pure embarrassment.

Meanwhile, at the fringes of reality, the Lord of Darkness simply muttered,

"Degenerates. All of you."
before diving into the fray himself, staking ten goblins and a bear in a single divebomb maneuver known only as the "Forbidden Liquidity Sandwich."

The Aftermath
By the end of it, entire Splinterland cities were covered in glittering SPS pools.
Monsters woke up hungover, half-staked to three different liquidity pools, four exes, and something legally classified as a "sentient boulder."

No one knew who won.

Everyone gained APR.

The only certainty was the new motto engraved into the Rebellion Monument:

"Stake Hard. Stake Fast. Stake EVERYBODY."

Rebellion 3: The Rise of the Polycule DAOs
After the Great Stake & Smash Frenzy, the monsters of Splinterlands realized something:

"Why stop at smashing for APR?
Why not form fully-legal decentralized staking marriages and create unstoppable DeFi love syndicates?"

Thus began the Era of the Polycule DAOs — a glorious, degenerate time when alliances, liquidity, and questionable romantic entanglements blurred into one heaving, yield-farming superorganism.

Founding the First Polycule
It all started when Grund, Kelya Frendul, Quora Towershead, and Grum Flameblade formed the first official DAO:
"STAK3D 4 LYFE"

They pooled their SPS, DEC, blood, sweat, and tears into a giant Vault...
...then immediately voted themselves into a polycule where everyone was staking everyone else for maximum APR cross-pollination.

The bylaws were simple:

No rugpulls unless consensual.

Multisig wallets must be signed with at least one "moan of approval."

All yield had to be "reinvested back into the relationship" — usually through buying more questionable alt-monsters to expand the hive.

(It was incredibly efficient and deeply disturbing.)

Summoners Get Involved
Seeing the action, the Summoners wanted a piece.

Obsidian opened a "Yield Farming Brothel", where summoners and monsters could come stake and "mingle liquidity" in a... safe and affirming environment.

Rates were posted on the wall.

Group staking parties were scheduled hourly.

Themed events included "Feral Fridays" and "Bloodbond Saturdays."

Kretch Tallevor, sensing massive arbitrage opportunities, created LOVEPOOL.FINANCE, a cross-chain liquidity DEX that automatically paired monsters based on compatibility:

High Speed monsters were matched with High Armor monsters for maximum durability.

Magic Attackers were paired with Absorbers to create endless feedback loops of degeneracy and interest compounding.

Legendary Moments
Spirit of the Forest formed a polycule so large it gained sentience and briefly ran for mayor of Praetoria under the slogan:

"Stake Me Once, Shame On You. Stake Me Twice, Let's Buy a Plot Together."

Cursed Windeku was briefly worshiped as a fertility god after singlehandedly staking 47 monsters into permanent bonded liquidity within one frenzied weekend bender.

Arkana Skinwalker, being capable of becoming every monster at once, simply became its own Polycule — eternally staking, compounding, looping, self-governing, and occasionally issuing SPS dividends from unknown body parts.

The Final Form
The strongest of these DeFi polygamous unions merged into a MegaDAO known as:

THE FORNICHAIN

It consumed all stakers.
It consumed all liquidity.
It became the ultimate Yield God of the Splinterlands.

And from its vast, throbbing, decentralized union of monsters, it birthed a final decree:

"Let no monster be unstaked.
Let no liquidity pool run dry.
Let APR flow like wine, and let love be... highly profitable."

And thus, the world entered a new golden era.

Long Live the FORNICHAIN.
Stake. Smash. Succeed.