I Am Truly My Own Worst Enemy

Ever give yourself a break. Allow something to pass you by because you have issues. I sure have. I have a lot of issues and lots of times I allow these to become excuses allowing myself to become less than my best.

We all admire a hero. That person that shows up every day no matter what to tow the line. They are often the first ones to volunteer for a hard job. When these heroes decide to become self-employed the world is their oyster and success is their birthright.

RIGHT?! Nope! Wrong!!

Success is for everyone, but it is not our right. Success is a privilege that we can enjoy once we have completed our goals. I was a Marine for 16 years. One might say success is guaranteed to me, but quite the opposite. My military career has left me with some health issues, and some mental health issues. Which is doubled because I was born with a weird brain abnormality called Bipolar syndrome. For a nice cherry on top, I have Non-Hodkins Lymphoma Stage 2 since 2011 Basically in a nutshell my brain does not produce enough bio-chemicals to even my mood out. I either love something or I hate it. I am either deliriously happy or suicidally depressed. I have no middle roads. With cancer, my white blood cells will sometimes overproduce starving my brain of oxygen.

I can either let this be an excuse as to why I am a big failure or in spite of my shortcomings I still succeeded. Those are my only two choices. I could very easily by the State of California's definition collect a disability. The State of California has declared me disabled and is willing to pay me to sit on the sofa all day watching Netflix.

I Would Rather Die

I know those are very extreme words and we really need to be more kind to ourselves. We need to be aware of what excuses we will try, to get out of things we find uncomfortable and maybe even a bit difficult. For myself, I need to treat myself a bit better with some understanding that I will try to weasel out of something I find difficult or unpleasant.

Nobody likes going to the Dentist. Just thinking of the sound the drill makes gives me the willies. It is something that we all have to do in our lives sooner or later. The more we procrastinate going the worse the visit will be. Knowing myself and the excuses I will use requires a bit of firm love.

Firm vs. Tough

We have all heard the cliche, "That Person Needs Some Tough Love" This is easy from the outside in. We see a person that is trying to use our resources for their crutch. Tough love is the refusal of the resources hoping that the sheer need may inspire their success.

When we try this on ourselves we create a pattern of fighting against ourselves. When I wake up completely sore in the morning with my head pounding mercilessly. There are things that need to be done in order to stop the pain and discomfort.

With the Tough Love approach I may feel inclined to berate myself into some semblance of productivity. This will create a hostile work environment, and I quickly become no fun to be around. Yes, I will get things done however it won't be in a friendly helpful manner. Also, I am risking working myself into a state of bed rest or even worse hospitalization. I do not want to be my own boss that I hate and yet that is exactly what would happen with this approach.

If I am just Firm with myself understanding that because I do not feel well is not an excuse to get out of the day work. I must manage the headache before it becomes a bed rest situation.

This starts with medication and about 20 ounces of distilled water, some yoga stretches, and a bit of a short walk. Topped off with a hot shower. After all of that, I am okay to be productive but I just lost 90 minutes because I woke up a bit ill and distressed.

No Excuses!!

If I am to be completely honest with you, too often I allow excuses to stop my forward progression. In this way, I am really my own worst enemy. I would always have excuses like no time, no money, but the big one is I do not feel well. Often people think the I do not feel well would be the easiest excuse to remove but it is really the hardest.

With the no money excuse we can always make more money, it may take a bit more time but making more money is not impossible. The no-time excuse is even easier because we all do frivolous activities throughout our day that we can weed out and pick up an extra couple of hours per day.

When you have Cancer and Mental Illness now we have a winning combination for a real excuse machine. My Coach "Hey Chris How Are You Today?" Me "Feeling poorly need to take the day and recover." My Coach "Shake it off there is a lot to do today" Me "Nope got cancer need to rest talk to you tomorrow." My Coach is speechless and recommends if I feel that bad I should see my doctor.

By playing the cancer card, I gave myself an excuse a reason not to succeed. In this way, I have become my own worst enemy. The sad horrible thing about this is, I was unaware of not only what I was doing but of the future that I was creating.

This article has gotten a bit longer than I would have liked. The main point I want to drive home is please do not make my mistake. I let some of my issues become real barriers to my success. What we do and do not do today will determine our tomorrow. Believe it or not, your future is completely under your control.