Man, I've seen come crypto projects that have made me laugh. I've seen some that make me want to just cringe my soul out of my body. I've even seen some that make me actually mad because they're so obviously scams. This particular project does all of the above and more. Welcome to hell, bois...

Cryptoland

Cryptoland is a project that aims to buy an island in Fiji called Nananu-i-cake and turn it into a crypto hub. That's the speed pitch at least, because it gets waaaaaay more weird than it sounds. IF you've ever seen the Netflix movie about Fyre Festival, you'll catch a little but of de ja vu in just a few minutes. Supposedly they have already "secured a purchase agreement" to buy this island, even though it is still listed for sale for $12 million. They claim to have fronted $500,000 to fund the launch of the project along with a fever-dream-esque promotional video. The rest will be funded by selling NFTs of this nightmare fuel animated coin named Connie. Oh yeah, the rest of the money is going to come from them selling 60 1-acre plots of land on the island for 319 ETH each. Roughly $800,000 at the time of writing this.

The problem(s)

The main problem with this project is the lack of transparency and the cringey answers they give when asked questions. They clearly have not thought this thing through at all - just like Fyre Festival. The guy behind it was like "I have a shit load of money that I can borrow to make this happen" so he figured all the logistics could easily be figured out. He was wrong. Oh so very wrong. What a fucking disaster that turned out to be, and it was just supposed ot be a festival. The Cryptoland guys are trying to buy the fucking island and sell people plots of land to live there. They didn't think about how it was actually going to work. Apparently it is going to be powered by diesel generators and have underground fiber optic internet. Excuse me, what the fuck? LOL. Ok, I'll stop boring you with the details... Have a look at this promotional video. Get ready to feel like you're actually in hell. Or the worst fever dream you've ever experienced. This shit is actual nightmare fuel. The original video was deleted but you know the internet... Once it's there, it's there.

Ok, I really hope you made it through that video without having a complete meltdown. Do you feel dirty now? Do you feel confused? Do you feel like you're actually in hell? There's no fucking way they watched this video after it was animated and said "yeah, it's good to go". The amount of crypto bro satire is just painful. I really struggled to finish it but I just knew at some point it would get better. It didn't. I'm still not entirely convinced this isn't the world's most expensive and elaborate shit post. Clearly a scam, but what if it was just to fuck with us too? Like a double whammy. Scammed and scarred for life. Have a look at this incredible Tweet thread buy Molly White where she breaks down everything wrong with this shit. There's even more updates after the thread too.

an up-and-coming crypto scam—er, project—has managed to dunk on cryptobros better than any satirist i've seen so far, with one of the most painful-to-watch youtube videos i've seen in a while. join me in hell as we watch this together: https://t.co/m6ptLfU1jU

— Molly White (@molly0xFFF) January 4, 2022

Sounds scammy and scary. Uhhhh.... Someone really needs to check their responses before sending them.

Her tweet thread was so good that they send her a Cease and Desist letter for "defamation of character". I'm impressed, Molly. Very cool.

So... What do you think? Lemme know. I'm off to have some nightmares now.

Thanks for reading! Much love.

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