The weight of secrets

We've all found ourselves in the position of holding a friend or loved one's secret, a gesture that signifies trust but, it can also impose a weighty responsibility. Yes, it's an honour, but at times it can feel like a big burden that weighs heavily on your shoulders, especially when the secret is significant. I am actually very good at keeping secrets and my tendency to forget them over time becomes an unintended advantage 😅.

Besides, I find it wrong to share someone's secrets, I wouldn't like it when the same is done to me. Just imagine you woke up one morning and a secret you told your friend last night is on the lips of everyone around you, how would you feel? So why would you want to do the same to someone else? But as always, there are exceptions to these sorts of things. The truth is that not all secrets are created equal.

Telling me to keep a secret about a silly prank you pulled on a mutual friend is a lot different from telling me to not tell anyone of your plans of kidnapping a friend. One of the things I value a lot in this world is loyalty, but not at the cost of another person's well-being. Indeed, the complexity intensifies when the secret involves a loved one and by this, I mean a family member. I have never experienced something like that but the commitment to assessing the type of damage is the first step I would take.

If it's something physical and life-threatening, then I take action immediately and inform the person involved, hopefully, it's not too late. But if it's something like emotional damage (maybe relationship problems), then I will only offer my advice and try to get my loved one to do the right thing, but I never mention the secret to someone else.

I have learned to not involve myself in matters of the heart because I have seen how things can turn around so fast that you will end up being the bad person trying to destroy a “perfect" relationship. So, in times like that, I keep my mouth shut. The only thing I do is to encourage the person to do the right thing.

But we have another scenario; what if it's a life-threatening secret and someone actually died because of it, what would I do? A movie titled "blood sisters" which I watched a couple of years ago is a good example. A lady was helping her best friend fight off her abusive fiance and in the heat of the moment, the fiance was killed. One of them did it and it wasn't intentional but the other friend could've just gone to the police to report it but knowing what would happen to her friend, they both decided to keep the secret.

So, to answer the question I asked before deviating, I would have done the same. The situation is a lot different from my loved one plotting something that could harm someone else I care about. But if it has already happened and I heard about it, I'm certainly not going to tell any living soul, my commitment lies in taking that secret to my grave. I don't see how exposing the secret will undo what has been done, and I would like to believe that what happened was an accident or a mistake. But what if it wasn't? Well, that's a story for another day.

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