Love vs money in marriage

This argument is one that has been in existence for as long as I can remember and is usually the basis of most social media gender battles. You will see arguments like “Women are now marrying for money” or “You don't need money to get married.” Yes, you can get married without being financially stable but in my opinion, I believe it's better to be financially buoyant before heading into marriage. Even Davido sang about it in one of his songs “Love is sweet o but when money enter, love is sweeter.”

I see love as the foundation of any marriage and I believe we all know how important a solid foundation is to any structure. Love forms the bedrock of any relationship and it's what determines if your partner stays by your side when things start turning sour. Some people get into a relationship because of money and when that money finishes, they find it hard to stay because the object of attraction (money) is no longer there. So, the foundation is very important and that's where love comes in. Without love, what then is the point?

Money, on the other hand, is a necessity because of its importance in providing basic amenities such as food and shelter. Aside from providing basic amenities, money also enables couples to pursue shared goals, plan for the future, reduce stressors that could strain the marriage and weather unexpected storms. Money is what turns dreams into reality, ensuring that the marriage runs smoothly. Love alone can't pay bills, and ignoring the importance of money can lead to resentment, arguments and ultimately, a rift in the marriage

I don't really see money and love as rivals in marriage, they are actually teammates. Asking which one is more important is like asking which is more important for survival between air and water when you actually need both. I believe in striking a balance between both of them for things to work out well in the marriage. But this doesn't mean that a marriage with love and money is indestructible, we have all seen marriages which seemed like it has both ended within a few years (screaming celebrity marriages).

Maybe the love isn't really there (or maybe it's just not strong enough?). There's no recipe for a successful marriage and different partners do what works for them. Some live modestly with their love richer than their bank accounts while others heavily pursue financial, having a fat bank account but their love is still very strong. This is why I believe there are other factors that also contribute to a successful marriage (like compatibility) but money and love are the major ones.

A Marriage without money can lead to challenges in getting basic amenities which can cause stress on the marriage. Meanwhile, a marriage without love is just a business partnership. This is why I would like to be financially buoyant before I step into the world of marriage because I see no reason why I should rush into it without money when I know it will lead to problems later on. I don't have to be filthy rich, but at least a good amount of money should be available and then we (my wife and I) can grow from there. But then again, what amount of money would I consider to be “good?” I leave that question for another day 😅

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