Being a mediator is not easy

Mediators are people who help people resolve their differences. They might be a lawyer or an arbitrator, or they might be just a person who has the patience and compassion to listen to people talk through their problems without getting emotional or judgmental. Mediation is a great way to help people find out what they really want from each other, and then help them achieve those goals together.

Being a mediator is not easy. You have to be patient, understanding, and diplomatic. You have to be able to listen, think on your feet, take notes, and keep calm. Being a mediator is like being an architect, you have to use your head and figure out what's going on in order to construct something that works for everyone.

You've got to be able to communicate with people who might not understand each other or even like each other very much, but you have to do it all in a way that makes everyone feel heard and respected. I have mediated in a couple of issues in the past but the most stressful one is being a mediator in a relationship, I will advise anyone to run from issues that concern the heart.

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This happened back in senior high school, my friend fell in love with a girl from another school and they started dating. I got to know her through my friend and we became very good friends. Suddenly they started having issues in their relationship and they always come to me to resolve it, most of the time it was done online through a popular messaging app back then (2go) and I prefer that over trying to get two raging teenagers to talk to each other face to face.

I always help them solve any issues
they have which most of the time is usually a small misunderstanding and they could have figured that out on their own by talking to each other but the problem is that my friend is very stubborn (probably the most stubborn person in the world) and his girlfriend has a hot temper; she flares up easily (probably teenage hormones or something).

One day, an issue came up as usual, and the girlfriend was the one that first came to me and started threatening fire and brimstone because of something her boyfriend (my friend) did, what exactly happened? She came visiting and saw him talking to another girl, she immediately took off and concluded that he is cheating.

I asked my friend about it and he said it was just a harmless conversation, the girl he was talking to was one of our classmates and when I found out who it was, I knew it was really a harmless conversation. I reported back to the girlfriend and told her that she has nothing to worry about, but she didn't agree, she still maintained that something was going on between both of them.

This went on for about a week and I was getting tired of the whole thing. She eventually agreed and said the boyfriend should apologize for not talking to her about it (he tried to but she didn't want to talk to him!). But for peace to reign and for the matter to be resolved, I told my friend to just apologize and let it go, but he refused!

He insisted that he didn't do anything wrong and I agreed with him but it was obvious that the girlfriend won't settle without an apology, so he should just swallow his pride and apologize, "females are very complicated beings and you can't win them with logics", that was what I told him but he still didn't agree. Remember when I said he is the most stubborn person in the world? Now you know why

They eventually broke up and I was happy about it (yes, I said it), at least I will be able to rest from all the drama and daily meditations which wasn't benefiting me in any way, I wasn't planning on becoming a lawyer or arbitrator in the future, so I certainly don't need to be practicing conflict resolution on my friend and his girlfriend.

Thinking back to what happened back then, I realize I was actually biased about the issue, I didn't have to tell my friend to agree to the demands of his girlfriend because I know I won't accept that too, but I did it because I was desperate for the matter to end, I didn't care about who was wrong or right.

That's the thing with being a mediator, you have to approach the issue with an unbiased mind and offer a solution that won't make one person happy and the other person sad. They both have to compromise and be satisfied the final solution before you can say the issue has been resolved.

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