Relationship without sex in this era
Greetings!
I was intrigued on Wednesday evening by a thought that crossed my mind: Can a relationship without sex truly thrive in this modern age? Can the two individuals involved make it work and sustain it?
My neighbor, who I am very close with and regularly share life’s happenings, returned from work while I was still attending to my tasks. For about two weeks, he has been leaving the house very early and coming back late, which has prevented us from having our usual chitchats. The last time we spoke, he mentioned an issue he was facing in his two-month-old relationship with his girlfriend. According to him, the lady had refused to visit him without offering any solid reason. I felt there had to be something more, so I insisted that he press her for a reason. In the end, he said she claimed she had just been busy.
We hadn’t spoken until today (Wednesday evening) when he rushed into my workspace after returning from work to give me an update on his situation and to seek some advice. He shared that, even after our last conversation, his girlfriend still hadn’t come to visit him. Without thinking too much about it, I asked if he was pressuring her for sex and if that was the issue. He admitted that it was indeed the case.
“No wonder! It’s quite odd for a girlfriend to refuse to visit without any clear reason,” I said, laughing.
We continued discussing, and he confessed that he couldn’t be in a relationship without sex, but the lady didn’t seem to share the same perspective. I asked if they had defined their expectations from the start, and he said they hadn’t.
At that point, I advised him to be upfront with her about his expectations. If she wasn’t willing to engage in sex and he felt that he couldn’t cope with that, it might be better to end the relationship rather than allowing frustration to build up and lead to constant arguments.
Life is simpler when we clearly define our terms and expectations before entering into any sort of commitment. Of course, there will always be challenges, but when everything is laid out from the beginning, such difficulties can be minimized. My friend is struggling now because he failed to establish the boundaries and terms of his relationship from the start. Now that his girlfriend isn’t meeting his expectations, he feels disappointed or perhaps even betrayed.
To return to my original question: Can a relationship without sex work in this day and age, even if both parties agree?
That’s the question my friend was asking me, and I told him: YES, IT’S POSSIBLE—but it depends entirely on the strength and mutual understanding of the people involved.
The world, however, has become so corrupted that even when both parties agree to such an arrangement, there is often a lingering doubt or fear that one of them might seek satisfaction elsewhere.
Thanks for reading.
I think it’s very difficult in the day we live in but he certainly should have been more up front about it in a polite way. Don’t have to be aggressive or anything but it is important for men.
I think the added challenge is getting many years in and it just fades away and becomes something just declined. That’s an incredible challenge because there’s lots of other factors involved as well, but a very similar premise. In the end, especially men, we are indeed biological and have our biological urges and needs.
I think he was being controlled already by the urge and couldn't bear the fact he's seeing. Lol😅
You said it all.
Thanks for stopping by