My Unhealthy Obsession With Grund
When I first met Grund I was blown away by his beauty. His bravery is unmatched. His sweet little face is just so cute and adorable. I just want to give him a big old wet kiss. I love lizards but Grund is beyond any lizard I’ve ever met. My wife thinks I’m weird because all I do is fantasize about being best friends with Grund!. She even tries to tell me he’s "not real" but I know better. I refuse to live in a world where he does not exist. I crave Grunds love and affection like a teenage girl craves her daddy’s. I came up with his background and I know that he is a real thingamajigger. I know he wants to cuddle up with me and watch football. I know that he likes ice cream and cotton candy just like my other friends. The difference between Grund and my other friends is other people can see Grund. If they can see him, how can he not be real? Crazy people. I feel he gets along well with my other pets. The dogs play with him. The cats chase him. The rabbits run from him. The people I keep in cages are in awe of him. My psychologist says it’s best that I don’t see Grund anymore but I see him every time I close my eyes. My wife and I went on a date the other night and all I did was tell the waitress about my tiny little lizard, I don’t think she knew it was Grund. For somebody so cute and adorable he sure is tough. He is probably the best earth creature to use in MOST battles. I will not ever sell Grund, as it's wrong to sell your friends. He is a living thing with feelings and emotions and a heart of gold. He takes care of his young, which will one day grow to be as cool as their daddy. I don’t know if he has a wife but I hope he does. If he doesn’t, I’m sure he’s getting lots of action with the lizard ladies. Hell if I were a human woman I’d give Grund my lady parts. I got Grund a sweater for Christmas and I got him a heat lamp even though he’s already really hot. If you want your life to be changed forever all you have to do is meet Grund. There is nobody anywhere who is as awesome as Grund. When I am in a tough moral situation I ask myself WWGD! What would Grund do?!