Why Society Struggles to Let People Be Themselves

When it comes to children, but also in general, most people are incredibly bad at letting others be themselves in general, they live in societies that specifically focus on making everyone discriminate, cast their lot in a bloc, stop associating over certain lines, think small things mean the whole world, and actually do because of the system they live in. they tend to encourage certain attitudes that lead to high and mighty and what not. it is what it is. you just have to knuckle down and accept it, most likely. you can try to talk to them, and if you want to, my best advice would be to attempt to make them think of the answer themselves. ask them questions that lead them to certain thoughts and thinking, let them do the talking and thinking. just keep asking them until they get closer and closer to having to realise / admit things to themselves. if you're too obvious, they'll get offended. if you're too vague, they won't connect the dots. sometimes, they just don't care. hypocrisy is very common.
''should you hit someone because they don't speak your language?''
of course not
''so why are you hitting a small child because it can't read your mind and doesn't know how to tell you what it wants so it resorts to being, at worst, slightly annoying, if you have a pretty bad mindset towards children?''
it's not the same
''do you think it's appropriate to hit people because tehy annoy you?''
of course not
''so why do you do it to defenseless little kids for mostly understandable and small things?''
it's not the same / it doesn't count / there's no other way

it can take a lot of talking to make someone realise that their reasonings for things are poor, and that they are hypocritical. many people have stockholm syndrome for a life devoted towards productivity and society, for hedonism in misery and so on
so undoing the things that lead you to ask ''stop trying to make me live the life you wanted for yourself, and stop trying to teach me things i can only learn by experience, and stop making your advice into orders'' can be extremely difficult
the smart, intelligent and well behaved people do as they're told, when they're told, how they're told. the smart, intelligent and well behaved people are normal. without distress. they do not care about things. they are not consumed or even interested in things other than civilisation and obedience. if you're a smart, good person, one day you can grow up to be x thing. good people don't question things. good people believe in dichotomies. good people believe in x or y being wrong. good people don't think of themselves, they always think of others.

so many things lead to the attitudes that people have now, the ideals that they have, and there's far more than just the schooling system that adds to that, if you don't make headway talking, camper's advice is best, just obey, and then soar like an eagle once you're gone, and don't come back, unless you feel like it. that's how it is.
perhaps think of all the things you don't want to do to your kids,. perhaps think of all the things you should stop doing to your friends and to strangers.